This sounds like a complex problem and I understand your concern about the side effects of psychiatric medication, both mental and physical. It is true that no medication is without risk, which is why I recommend that you schedule a visit with your psychiatrist
as soon as possible. But there are a couple very important general facts that I would like to briefly emphasize to you. Medications only become approved and sold for use if research show that their benefits greatly outweigh their risks. On the opposite side of the coin, you have illegal drugs (such as methamphetamine), which are only made illegal because research has proven that their risks greatly outweigh their benefits.
I believe you that methamphetamine made you feel good, social, and full of energy: this is what it is designed to do and why it is incredibly addictive. But it is an indisputable medical fact that methamphetamine is thousands of times more likely to cause permanent damage to your brain and heart than any psychiatric medication on the market. It is fantastic that you have been clean for six weeks, but that is not a lot of sobriety in the grand scheme of things, so I highly recommend that you regularly attend a 12 step recovery program, such as alcoholics anonymous, especially if you are having good memories of using or have the desire to start using again. The best way to make your doctors
feel comfortable prescribing the medications you want is to have a long track record (multiple years) of sobriety in a 12-step recovery program.
You are 100% correct when you say that living with psychiatric illness
is difficult, that social interactions are challenging, that anti-psychotic medications make you drowsy, and that negative symptoms are notoriously difficult to treat. There are a large number of psychiatric medications out there and many times people need to go through multiple medications changes before they find the optimal drug or combination of drugs to effectively treat their illness. However, the only person qualified to recommend a safe and effective change to your medications is a psychiatrist that you go to see in person and who has access to your entire medical history and all the medications you have tried in the past.
For someone in your situation, the only advice I can give you is to do two things as soon as possible: make an appointment to see a psychiatrist in person for a complete evaluation and attend 12 step recovery meetings regularly.