Is it ok to kiss before being tested?
My husband had oral sex with a man and we've been intimate since then because I didn't know this. We are working on our marriage and would like to continue this. My husband views the counselor's advice to abstain until testing as punishment.
I'm sorry that you are going through this, as it must be quite stressful to you. It does sound like you are taking some good steps, however, including seeing a marriage counselor. The best thing would be for you to discuss this issue with your own primary care doctor, and also to urge your husband to seek a medical evaluation. I assume by testing that you mean testing for sexually transmitted infections or HIV. If your husband just had oral sex, then the likelihood of having picked up a sexually transmitted infection is low, but it is not impossible. HIV is not usually transmitted in this way, but other sexually transmitted infections, such as herpes or gonorrhea, can be. There is no evidence that kissing can transmit the HIV virus. However, if an individual has an active oral infection with gonorrhea or with herpes, then this could be transmitted in this way. Again, the best thing would be for you to discuss this issue with your own primary care doctor, and also to urge your husband to seek a medical evaluation. Together, your two doctors will be able to provide you with more medical advice, assess the risks, and help you decide what testing and treatments might be needed. They'll also be able to advise you on whether or not it is ok to have intimate contact. Good luck!
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