What is happening to my mind?
Seventeen years old male, athletic, and AP/Honors student. I feel depressed, I confuse reality with my thoughts, I hear things that no one else does, and I see things that frighten me but are not real. I feel as though I am being watched by someone who knows my thoughts. I forget conversations and whole chunks of my memory from only seconds ago. I bite my lip and bounce my leg in place all day. I have migraines with auras and have trouble putting my thoughts into words. Sometimes I feel like I am not the person inside of my own body, but am just along for the ride. I have no true friends, but many shallow ones. I don't think they are real. They are pretend people set up to watch me. They aren't real; they all have fake emotions and share the same thoughts and interests. They are all uniform and mindless. Back to the topic, I need to know what is happening to me while I can still see myself changing.
I think your symptoms are quite concerning and warrant immediate evaluation by a psychiatrist. You have listed many symptoms, and collectively they cannot be assigned a certain condition with the limited information that we have. This is especially true because of your age as some of the conditions that you might have are typically not diagnosed in someone as young as you are. For example, the symptoms of hearing things that are not there and feeling that you are being watched by others are common symptoms of schizophrenia. These feelings in combination with depression can be a sign of a related disorder called schizoaffective disorder. The other symptoms that you have such as having few close friends, not feeling like you are inside your body, and feeling like the people around you are just imaginary are all symptoms of delusional disorders, schizophrenia being the most well-known one. I think that you need a valuation by a psychiatrist immediately. The fact that you have recognized these abnormal thoughts and feelings so early on is important because it will allow you to get help before your situation gets out of control or before you make a mistake that has a lasting impact on your life. Good luck.
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