ZocdocAnswersMy girlfriend has trouble with anything sexual. Is there anything I can do to help her overcome this?

Question

My girlfriend has trouble with anything sexual. Is there anything I can do to help her overcome this?

My girlfriend has trouble with anything sexual. She says she feels trapped when she starts and gets very uncomfortable. She has past of bad experiences and this has been a problem for her for a very long time. It seems all psychological. Is there anything I can do to help her overcome this?

Answer

Thank you for your question regarding your girlfriend and her aversion to sexual intercourse. I recommend that your girlfriend seek guidance of a medical professional. First and foremost, however, it is important that being intimate is something that your girlfriend is ready, or wants, to do. There could many perfectly legitimate reasons why a person may not want to have sex. These could range from a person's age, maturity level, or religious and cultural beliefs. Have you had an open discussion with her to make sure that this is something she is prepared and wanting to do, not because she feels forced or pressured to? If your girlfriend is ready for sex and is just as frustrated by her inability to feel comfortable, it is time to explore other reasons for her feelings. You alluded to a "past of bad experiences". It would be very important to understand what these bad experiences have been. Has she had a history of sexual abuse or rape? If so, it is time to seek professional help. She may not feel comfortable speaking with you about this past and therefore, it is advisable to enlist the help of a psychiatrist or psychologist who is better trained to deal with these types of traumatic events and can help with the healing process. Please speak with your girlfriend about whether she is comfortable seeking the guidance of a medical professional.

This answer is for general informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice.

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