Your symptoms are certainly very concerning. I would encourage you to visit a psychiatrist
immediately to better evaluate your mental health and provide you with the appropriate care that you need. You describe symptoms are suggestive of a condition known as bipolar disorder. Bipolar disorder is a mental illness
characterized by periods of depression
that alternate with periods of mania. Mania is a state of feeling extremely elevated in mood. You may feel persistently happy, hyperactive, irritated, or impulsive. Other symptoms include feeling as if you have special powers or abilities, racing thoughts, decreased need for sleep, talking fast, inappropriate laughing or joking, and excessive spending or hypersexual behavior. Hypomania is a less severe form of mania, where you experience a milder version of these symptoms but are still able to function at school or work. These manic or hypomanic episodes alternate with sudden feelings of depression whereby you feel sad, are unable to sleep, have no interest in activities, have feelings of guilt or worthlessness, or even thoughts of suicide. Bipolar disorder needs to be treated right away, which can include any combination of medications such as mood stabilizers, anticonvulsants, or antipsychotics. Please visit a psychiatrist at once for evaluation of your particular symptoms. If you experience any more suicidal thoughts, please seek medical attention immediately.