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"How can I raise my libido without drugs?"

ZocdocAnswersHow can I raise my libido without drugs?


I am a 32 year old mother. Before having my child I was always - ready - for loving my husband. These days I have had to start using artificial lubricants. I have heard that menopause can cause this issue, however I am no where near old enough for that. Help!


You are experiencing the unfortunate side effects of having a baby that are not often talked about. The hormonal changes that occur after having a baby, in addition to the trauma to your vaginal area that occur during the birth, add to the exhaustion and new feelings (ever heard of the "baby blues?") that come as a mother and make intimacy entirely different than it was before your baby was born. Additionally, your husband is likely feeling that he has taken a back seat to baby in more ways than one, and a lack of libido on your part is another difficult thing for him to deal with. The pressure, intended or not, that comes with getting back to "normal" is often another serious mood killer on the woman's part. In short, you are not alone in feeling frustration and needing help. For better or worse, time and patience, together with good communication and a knowledge that the changes are not forever should help to get you through-- as long as you have plenty of artificial lubricants in the interim. While this can be a frustrating time, talk openly with your husband, and try for intimacy in ways that don't necessarily include intercourse to show you care. There are some conditioning exercises that have been helpful for many in the past, which you could discuss either with your primary care doctor or a sex therapist as needed. Please speak with your physician if your problem persists or there are other symptoms, as "baby blues" can also be a significant part of low libido, and can be treated and leave you feeling much improved.

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