First off I am sorry to hear that you have strabismus
and have been dealing with it for some time now. I am more than willing to give you some general information on strabismus which may be helpful, but you should absolutely consult with an ophthalmologist
for a detailed ocular history and physical exam.
Strabismus as you well know is a term that refers to a condition pertaining to the eyes where they are no properly aligned. This can be secondary to an abnormality within the brain, or with the extra-ocular muscles which results in dysconjugate gaze disrupting the normal binocular vision which provides accurate depth perception. This can be from a lesion in any of the cranial nerve that innervate the extra-ocular muscles (CN3: ocular-motor nerve, CN4: trochlear nerve, CN6: Abducens nerve). There have been studies that show strabismus can have a negative effects on an individuals self-image. Furthermore, when present in infancy, there are some that say that strabismus can lead to the brain ultimately disregarding the neural information that it receives from the affected/non-dominant eye. This is part of the argument from some as to why strabismus should be surgically corrected at a relatively early age. I hope that this is at least somewhat helpful, and I would definitely recommend that you discuss these questions with an ophthalmologist at a consultation. Best of luck.