{"id":18125,"date":"2019-03-27T14:44:51","date_gmt":"2019-03-27T19:44:51","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/thepapergown.zocdoc.com\/?p=18125"},"modified":"2023-03-03T15:44:14","modified_gmt":"2023-03-03T20:44:14","slug":"my-precarious-love-affair-with-the-dentist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zocdoc.com\/blog\/patient-stories\/my-precarious-love-affair-with-the-dentist\/","title":{"rendered":"My Precarious Love Affair With Dental Care"},"content":{"rendered":"

I\u2019m one of those sick people who loves going to the dentist<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n

Yes, such people exist, albeit in small numbers. It turns out that <\/span>36 percent of the population is afflicted by dental anxiety, and another 12 percent suffers from extreme dental fear<\/span><\/a>, so I\u2019m part of a small pool of oddballs who genuinely look forward to letting near-strangers poke and prod inside their mouths.<\/span><\/p>\n

But it\u2019s not <\/span>that<\/span><\/i> weird, really, if I can psychoanalyze myself for a minute: Since childhood, the dentist has been a place where I know I\u2019ll be lavished with praise for my good work. <\/span><\/p>\n

I skated through my earliest dentist appointments untraumatized. While other kids left with cavities and stern warnings about the dangers of fruit snacks, I got a pat on the head and an \u201catta girl!\u201d for my twice-a-day brushing routine and my preference for plain tap water. <\/span><\/p>\n

When I had braces \u2014 not once but twice between the ages of 10 and 15 \u2014 I mastered the art of brushing between the wires. As an adult, hygienists are wowed by This One Weird Trick I use to floss beneath the permanent metal retainer that keeps my lower teeth aligned (and no, I don\u2019t use one of those needle threaders; that would be cheating). It\u2019s my greatest party trick.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m smug as hell about having zero cavities. It\u2019s insufferable.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

For nearly 30 years, I\u2019ve been batting a thousand with the dentist. I\u2019ve looked forward to my appointments, thinking of each one as a sort of hour-long mindfulness exercise wherein I zone out in front of HLN headlines scrolling on a mini TV while mint toothpaste is applied with care to each of my individual molars, canines and incisors.<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve always had the strongest connection with the hygienists; I can spot the look of sheer joy in their eyes when I tell them, sincerely, that I floss every single day. (And yeah, I <\/span>read that malarkey about how the benefits of flossing are debatable<\/span><\/a>, but you\u2019ll have to pry the Glide from my cold, dead hands.) When the dentist pops in for his obligatory song and dance \u2014 moving my jaw from side to side, telling me to stick my tongue out \u2014 our interaction is as brief as it is validating. \u201cThat\u2019s a beautiful set of teeth,\u201d he says. (I know.) \u201cAnd so rare to see a mouth with no fillings!\u201d (It\u2019s my single greatest accomplishment, thank you for noticing.)<\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019m smug as hell about having zero cavities. It\u2019s insufferable. But being good at oral hygiene has become a weirdly integral part of my identity. I\u2019m a recovering perfectionist, and maintaining my pearly whites satisfies a deep-seated desire to be the best at something. What I lack in looks, charisma and athletic ability, I make up for in preventing plaque buildup and remembering to use Crest Whitestrips every now and then. <\/span><\/p>\n

There are so many other things in my life that I can\u2019t control, particularly related to my health, like chronic sinus infections and anxiety and seasonal allergies that somehow persist through all seasons. I relish the opportunity to control this one small thing. But as I\u2019ve gotten older, I’ve started to unravel my obsession with dental validation, and I\u2019m finding that it\u2019s a precarious love affair. <\/span><\/p>\n

I grind my teeth at night, a Type-A habit if ever there was one. A few years ago, at my dentist\u2019s behest, I finally gave in and spent hundreds of <\/span>HSA dollars<\/span><\/a> on a clunky, expensive plastic night guard. Anything to keep myself from whittling my chompers to a pulp.<\/span><\/p>\n

Not long after I got the night guard, I learned that my gums are beginning to recede ever so slightly. It\u2019s a <\/span>common problem<\/span><\/a>, and not cause for panic. But it\u2019s also the type of issue that could eventually require a rather unsavory procedure (think <\/span>gum tissue grafts<\/span><\/a> or <\/span>\u201copen flap scaling\u201d<\/span><\/a>) if it gets out of hand.<\/span><\/p>\n

In doing as much as possible to attain and maintain a pristine smile, I\u2019d been doing too much. My squeaky-clean gums are beginning to creep up from years of aggressive scrubbing.<\/span><\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Gum recession is also <\/span>exacerbated by excessive brushing<\/span><\/a>. Who knew such a thing existed? My dentist said to take it easy on the brushing, which was painful to hear \u2014 I\u2019m the best at brushing! I brush all the time! I\u2019m thorough and methodical! But apparently, in doing as much as possible to attain and maintain a pristine smile, I\u2019d been doing too much. My squeaky-clean gums are beginning to creep up from years of aggressive scrubbing.<\/span><\/p>\n

Instead of simply accepting this information and making a mental note to go lighter on my gums, I started scheming with unhinged determination.<\/span> No problem. I can fix this, <\/span><\/i>I decided. I\u2019d get one of those toothbrushes with super soft bristles intended for babies. And I\u2019d modify my technique to make sure I was only brushing lightly. I\u2019d be the goddamn best at brushing lightly. But it was already too late.<\/span><\/p>\n

Even though I\u2019ve spent the last few years brushing with the equivalent of an infant toothbrush and gently maneuvering around the tops of my teeth, it\u2019s not enough to undo the recession. My gingiva is officially on the watch list. Last month, I switched to an electric toothbrush that makes it nearly impossible to beat the crap out of my gums. <\/span><\/p>\n

Letting go of the belief I held so tight \u2014 that taking care of my teeth is one thing I can control and truly excel at \u2014 has been difficult. I\u2019ve even cycled through some of the stages of grief (denial, mostly) as I\u2019ve tried to skirt responsibility for my less-than-perfect gums.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou know,\u201d I said to the hygienist last month. \u201cMy childhood dentist once told me I inherited my dad\u2019s gumline. His is receding too, so I think this whole issue is just a genetic thing.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

The hygienist cocked an eyebrow and looked at me, silently. Her face said everything: \u201cBelieve what you want, lady. Your gums are receding, and it doesn\u2019t matter whose fault it is.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Just in time for my 30th birthday, this whole ordeal reminded me that for all the effort I\u2019ve put into a so-called perfect smile \u2014 careful brushing, daily flossing, whitening, two rounds of braces funded by my parents \u2014 perfection is illusory. I\u2019d be doing myself a favor if I stopped chasing it. <\/span><\/p>\n

I\u2019ve always known this, in my heart of hearts. But a small, stubborn part of me kept believing that I could beat the odds and become perfect in just one way, by treating my teeth like a prizewinning show dog<\/span> and collecting a medal every time I went to the dentist.<\/span><\/p>\n

Despite my grinding and imperfect gum line, I\u2019m not about to throw away my laudable habits and adopt some nihilistic approach to oral hygiene. On the contrary, I\u2019ve already started evangelizing (mostly to my husband) about the fresh feeling I get from my new electric toothbrush. It\u2019s like getting a professional cleaning<\/a> twice a day. It\u2019s heavenly. But I know it\u2019s only a feeling, not a measure of my worth or evidence of my unique talent for teeth maintenance. It\u2019s certainly nothing to be smug about.<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Ready to book a doctor’s appointment? Visit Zocdoc.<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/h1>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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