{"id":20324,"date":"2023-02-27T10:24:58","date_gmt":"2023-02-27T15:24:58","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.zocdoc.com\/blog\/?p=20324"},"modified":"2023-03-03T14:33:04","modified_gmt":"2023-03-03T19:33:04","slug":"5-things-id-never-do-as-a-therapist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.zocdoc.com\/blog\/advice\/5-things-id-never-do-as-a-therapist\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Things I\u2019d Never Do as a Therapist"},"content":{"rendered":"

Working with a great therapist<\/a> can be deeply healing. They can offer you a safe space to reveal your hopes and fears while helping you reframe negative thought patterns and develop healthy coping mechanisms.\u00a0<\/span>Due to their training and experience as providers, therapists tend to be very wise. That\u2019s why we turned to one for some advice\u2026on what to avoid doing this year.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

California-based marriage and family therapist <\/span>Nick Bognar<\/span> lists five things he\u2019d never do.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

1. He would never rely solely on dating apps.<\/h2>\n

If there\u2019s one tidbit of relationship advice Bognar shares with all his clients, it\u2019s this. Finding a date on an app might work for some people, but in Bognar\u2019s experience, making an effort to meet people at social events and other activities can make a huge difference.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cYou can\u2019t verify a person\u2019s integrity or character like you would a personal referral,\u201d he says. \u201cIt also dehumanizes people and reduces them to a face instead of a real person with feelings.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

2. He would never delay important conversations.\u00a0<\/b><\/h2>\n

Speaking up about your feelings can be awkward. But the longer you wait, the worse you\u2019ll feel.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Whether you want to set boundaries with a friend or end a dating relationship, he says \u201cthe aftermath of it going poorly is better than sitting around agonizing about it.\u201d If expressing emotions or a need ends a relationship, that relationship likely wasn\u2019t healthy in the first place.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

3. He would never judge his feelings.\u00a0<\/b><\/h2>\n

Emotions can be overwhelming. But criticizing or judging yourself for feelings you can\u2019t control won\u2019t help you grow \u2014\u00a0in fact, Bognar says it will only stall the process.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

For example, if you struggle with depression, you might feel ashamed that your low mood interferes with your relationships. But shame only keeps you from talking about your emotions, which won\u2019t actually help you feel better.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Learning how to accept your feelings as they are, without labeling them as good or bad, can help you make positive changes. \u201cIt frees up so much mental space to accept your current reality as it is,\u201d Bognar says.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

4. He would never confuse zoning out with self care.\u00a0<\/b><\/h2>\n

What\u2019s the first thing you do when you\u2019re stressed? It can be tempting to watch T.V. for hours on end or mindlessly scroll through social media. While these activities can be fine in moderation and might help you numb any sadness or anxiety in the moment, Bognar says they are ultimately not long-term solutions for improving your well-being.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

The next time you feel the urge to spend hours scrolling, take a deep breath and ask yourself what you really need to feel better. An outdoor walk, a glass of water or a conversation with a supportive friend can all be nourishing. \u201cSelf-care requires checking in with yourself and meeting your needs physically and emotionally,\u201d he says. \u201cIt\u2019s not necessarily more fun than taking your car to the mechanic, but it\u2019s important for your maintenance.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

5. He would never hide feelings from a therapist.\u00a0<\/b><\/h2>\n

Your relationship with your therapist<\/a> is just as important for healing and growth as the advice they share with you, says Bognar. So if they say something that offends you, it\u2019s important to speak up.<\/span><\/p>\n

It can feel awkward to tell your therapist how you really feel, but the chance to talk through it can help you grow both in and out of therapy. Advocating for yourself can help you get what you need from your therapist and give you experience speaking up for yourself.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

If you don\u2019t want to keep seeing your therapist, be honest about that, too \u2014 Bognar says he helps clients find new ones all the time. \u201cIf I get angry or resentful, that\u2019s for me to take to my own therapist,\u201d he says. \u201cMy job in therapy is to honor your feelings.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

\n

Need a therapist<\/a>? Find one on Zocdoc.<\/h1>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A therapist lists his dos and don\u2019ts for 2023. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":26,"featured_media":20327,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[228],"tags":[12,41,69,83],"class_list":["post-20324","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-advice","tag-anxiety","tag-mental-health","tag-the-psychology-of-being-a-patient","tag-wellness","reviewer-dr-nassim-assefi"],"yoast_head":"\n5 Things I\u2019d Never Do as a Therapist - Advice<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Due to experiences and training, therapists have a lot of wisdom. 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