I have always hated my nose. In fact, at the ripe age of seven, I remember puttering down the hallway of my childhood apartment and realizing I was finally tall enough to see myself in our wall-mounted mirror. Thrilling! However, my smile dissipated when I discovered the existence of my profile. I twisted my head to the side and traced the curvature of my nose with my tiny finger.
Why was it so bumpy? Did everyone know my nose was so big? Why had I never seen it from this angle before? My decades-long battle with my nose began.
The bump in the cartilage of my nasal bridge — what I later learned was medically considered my dorsal hump — haunted me. As a kid, I would delete any photos on the family digital camera where the hump was visible. Over time, my nose became my catch-all excuse for low self-worth.
It wasn’t until the summer of 2020, mid-pandemic, that I finally admitted to my longtime therapist that I felt my nose was holding me back. It wasn’t the Zoom meetings and staring at my face for eight hours a day on camera that pushed me to finally talk about my insecurity. It was sitting with my negative self-talk and feeling how it changed how I saw myself, even in a vacuum. I was suddenly hyper-aware that it wasn’t the world around me that didn’t like how I looked. It was me.
My therapist and I worked through these feelings for a while and decided it would be worth it for me to reach out to plastic surgeons and start looking at what a nose job, medically known as a “rhinoplasty,” could potentially do for me and my self-esteem.
I dug into the research. I knew I had a few things to consider. For one, a procedure like this has a high cost. The American Board of Cosmetic Surgery reports that the average cost of a rhinoplasty checks out at $5,483. Then, there was the shameful stigma that comes with cosmetic surgery. For years, tabloids, TV shows, movies and other cultural outlets have made getting a nose job or botox seem taboo. Experts say the negative stigma persists, despite the sheer number of people choosing to go through with these types of procedures in this day and age.
After much reflection, I decided going under the knife would be worth it. I was ready to do whatever I could to lessen my physical insecurities. I couldn’t let my physical appearance be a catch-all excuse for me to bash myself, and making the call to get the procedure felt like the first step to taking control of my internal dialogue.
Choosing my new nose
Once I learned more about rhinoplasties and found a plastic surgeon I liked, I realized I was in good company.
Dr. Reza Jarrahy, a clinical professor of plastic surgery, neurosurgery and pediatrics at the David Geffen School of Medicine at UCLA, says the demand for facial cosmetic procedures, in general, surged around the pandemic. Just over 350,000 Americans received a nose job in 2020, per the American Society of Plastic Surgeons.
So, I began preparing for my new nose. My plastic surgeon explained that catering the procedure to individual noses was essential. Rhinoplasty isn’t a one-size-fits-all surgery. My plastic surgeon took photographs of my face from every angle to give me an idea of what was realistic. He then photoshopped my nose, combining what I wanted with what could work structurally. While digital renderings can help you get an idea of what your future nose will look like, my surgeon made it very clear that depending on my unique anatomy, he might have to make specific calls on the operating table. That’s why it’s extra important to choose a surgeon with whom you feel comfortable having an open dialogue.
When I showed up at the plastic surgeon’s office the morning of my surgery, I couldn’t wait to hop on the operating table. The surgery took about three hours. As soon as I woke up, I could already see through my splint that my wretched dorsal hump was no more—goodbye and good riddance.
The aftermath
Three months after my surgery, I could see my full new nose in all its glory. I couldn’t believe I hadn’t gotten a nose job sooner. It’s been over two years since the surgery, and I’ve long become accustomed to life with my new favorite feature. (And in retrospect, I’m pretty sure no one ever ignored my texts because my nose was too big.)
I’m not the only one who has felt this. Dr. Danielle F. Eytan, an assistant professor at the NYU School of Medicine, shares that her patients have had similar experiences.
“Many patients state they wish they had pursued it sooner and demonstrate significantly improved confidence and quality of life after surgery,” she says.
Jarrahy has also seen a direct correlation between rhinoplasty and improved mental health. However, he says he’s “had numerous patients say they feel guilty to some degree for wanting to change their nasal appearance with surgery.”
One study measured positive sentiment around the topic of plastic surgery on social media. It concluded that using the term “plastic surgery” resulted in a negative view, while “cosmetic or reconstructive surgery” were seen in a more positive light. Perhaps with broadened language and more varied representation on social media, we as a society can move past the negative stigma.
Jarrahy suggests patients reframe how they think about rhinoplasty if they struggle to feel confident in pursuing a nose job.
“If changing the appearance of their nose can help them live more freely, they, in turn, can pay it forward and bring their new positive outlook and energy to everyone they interact with,” he says.
With utmost confidence, I can say that getting a nose job was one of the best decisions I’ve made as an adult.
“Some people carry a heavy emotional burden for years, looking in the mirror and being displeased with what they see,” says Jarrahy. “I would say the vast majority of my patients express some degree of improvement in their quality of life.”