For people with vaginas, your ob-gyn is your best resource for questions about your sex life and your sex organs. That doesn’t mean it’s easy to bring up concerns: Your sexual health is deeply personal, and even if you totally trust your doctor, you might feel embarrassed broaching certain topics.
That feeling is totally normal — and it shouldn’t keep you from getting the answers you need. We did some legwork for you by speaking with Dr. Pamela Berens, a professor of obstetrics and gynecology with McGovern Medical School at UTHealth Houston.
What’s the best way to groom pubic hair? Is it better to wax, shave or do nothing?
How (or whether) you groom down there boils down to personal preference — with a few caveats.
If you shave, be sure to use a new blade. We all have bacteria on our skin, and contaminated razors can spread those germs and cause an uncomfortable (but likely not dangerous) infection on your vulva. Waxing hair removal may be more sanitary, but it could irritate people with sensitive skin.
If you choose to leave your pubic hair as is, that’s okay too. “Leaving the hair natural is completely healthy and fine,” Berens says.
Why is my libido so low? Or high?
Sex drive is entirely personal, and it only becomes a problem if it’s a problem for you. Libido can dip if your testosterone levels decrease, which sometimes happens to people on hormonal birth control that contains estrogen. Depression can decrease libido, as can selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), medications that treat depression and anxiety.
On the flipside, you might experience increased libido if your testosterone levels are higher than normal, which can happen with hormonal conditions like polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS).
Either way, Berens encourages checking in with your doctor if you notice a bothersome change in your sex drive that doesn’t go away.
Why is my vulva and/or vagina itchy?
Yeast infections are the most common causes of an itchy vulva and vagina. Every vagina has yeast in it, but if you take antibiotics, the yeast can overgrow, causing itching, plus cream-colored, curd-like discharge.
Bacterial vaginosis, a different infection that can spread through sex or douching, can also cause itching in your vagina and around your vulva. While BV itself doesn’t cause itching, the excess discharge can create moisture in your underwear and lead to itching. If you suspect an infection, see a doctor ASAP.
Contact dermatitis (aka skin irritation) can also make your vagina itchy. If you’re using any new personal care products, like soaps or laundry detergent, stop using them and see if your itchiness goes away. If you sweat a lot, be sure to change your underwear often and avoid tight-fitting clothes, which can cause irritation from extra moisture.
What does the smell of my vagina mean?
Everybody’s vagina has a specific scent, and there’s no “normal” smell. If your vagina begins to smell different, then it’s possible you have an infection. Bacterial vaginosis causes a fishy smell, while yeast infections typically smell like yeast or bread. Some sexually transmitted infections can also make your vagina smell different.
Why does my vagina hurt during sex?
Vaginal pain during sexual intercourse is always a good reason to see a doctor. Some people experience pain when something enters their vagina, often due to tightened pelvic muscles that can occur from childbirth, surgery, stress, muscle problems or other factors. If that’s the case, pelvic floor physical therapy can help you relax.
Entry pain can also happen due to lack of estrogen during menopause. “As the vaginal tissue is deprived of estrogen, it gets less stretchy,” says Berens. For estrogen-related pain, lubricants, vaginal moisturizers or vaginal estrogen could help.
If deep penetration hurts, you might have a condition that affects your pelvic anatomy. For example, you might have fibroids or endometriosis, both of which cause growths on your sex organs. Those are something your OB can help you navigate.
Should I be worried about any types of vaginal discharge?
If you get a period, it’s normal for discharge to change in texture throughout your menstrual cycle. But if you notice any alarming changes in your discharge, get it checked out.
Yellow or green discharge is associated with bacterial vaginosis, while whitish curd-like discharge could mean a yeast infection. These changes usually come with other symptoms (like itching) and a distinct smell.
Is the shape and/or size of my labia normal?
Just like breasts, labia — the “lips” outside the vagina and the folds of skin inside of them — come in all shapes and sizes. “It only becomes problematic if someone is having difficulty from it,” says Berens. People with large labia might have a hard time sitting on a bike, for example, and if one lip is a lot bigger than the other, you might experience irritation on the larger side. If you’re worried about your labia or if you’re noticing any changes in its shape or size, check in with your doctor.